The big reveal

I’m anxious about sharing that I’m anxious. But my motto has always been to — feel the fear and do it anyway. That is unless anxiety gets the better of me and holds me captive.

You’d think after all these years I’d stop falling for the line that anxiety is my friend, always there to serve and protect. Knowing how gullible I am, I try to hide behind masks and camouflage, so people don’t notice I’m being bullied on the inside.

But truth be known, I am different. I’m uniquely made in the image and likeness of God himself. And so I am standing in the truth of how GOOD God has made me.

The battle over the truth of my goodness has been waging since I was a small child. While I’ve equipped myself over the years with sophisticated armour and strategies, anxiety has never completely relented. In fact, I had convinced myself the battle was over — until Covid struck.

I was increasingly losing my peace until one afternoon last spring I had an ‘anger attack.’ It shook me awake and I knew something had to change

In that moment, I heard the words — radical self-acceptance. My conscience continued to whisper Sara, become more yourself, not less. Stop hiding. Stop pretending you’re someone you’re not. It’s time to take off the layers of shame and let your little light shine.

Throughout life I’d tried everything to cope except for one thing...

I decided to seek a diagnosis for something I’d never put a formal label to. I decided it was time to own it.

So here I am feeling very vulnerable and exposed, nervous and afraid.

Here I am choosing against my feelings, in order to act with sincerity and humility, courage and hope.

Here I am looking fear straight in the face and saying “gotcha”.

Anxiety hates the light.

I do not know the exact plans God has for me, but He promises they are plans of welfare not woe, plans to give me a future of hope. (Jeremiah 29:11).

Here’s to the rest of my life.

#BellLetsTalk #endthestigma